


Just Some Space

by multifeelings



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Emotional Hurt, Even Bech Næsheim Loves Isak Valtersen, I AM SORRY, Insomnia, Isak Valtersen Loves Even Bech Næsheim, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, break - Freeform, self hate
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-10 13:38:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13502642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/multifeelings/pseuds/multifeelings
Summary: It’s been 2 weeks since Even noticed what was happening, and It made him sick to his stomach. Even and Isak we’re drifting apart and there was nothing either of them could do to stop it.





	1. The Start Of The Mess

**Author's Note:**

> I’m so sorry about this. But it gets better in the end, because they’re meant to be.  
> 

It’s been 2 weeks since Even noticed what’s happening, and it makes him sick to his stomach. Even and Isak we’re drifting apart and there wasn’t anything neither of them could do to stop it.  
***  
Even was still sleeping but Isak hadn’t slept in weeks, he knows he was supposed to talk to Even when his insomnia was playing up again but, he just didn’t. He was stressed over the fact that Even hadn’t taken his medication for days and that he didn’t tell him. He felt like a failure. i can’t even sleep like a normal person.  
Even was starting new meds because his old ones weren’t working correctly. He hasn’t told Isak because he knew he wasn’t sleeping, but he had to wait for Isak to tell him because it was his problem to tell, not Even’s to make assumptions. Just like it was Evens problem missing days of medication because they made him feel sick.  
Even has always been an open book with Isak, not from the beginning, but like everyone he’s grown and not telling isak things just doesn’t feel right. I’ll tell him when his sleeping schedule gets better.  
Now obviously, both boys know exactly what’s up. They’ve been together for a year now and they have been together long enough to know when the other is lying. 

It all went to shit on a Saturday night, of course at a party with smoke filling the air and a gross scent of vomit and alcohol.  
Even was drunk. Everyone knows he shouldn’t be if he wants to stay on top of his mental state.  
“Babyyyy, come dance with me!” Even shouted over the music that even when shouting, nobody could hear you. but isak knew. he always knew. “Ev, i think we should go home and sleep. yeah?”  
“Good luck with that, i know you haven’t slept in weeks! why didn’t you tell me? i thought we were supposed to tell each other thing! don’t you trust me?” Even, now turning angry shouts. Even knew it was a terrible thing to do, proved by the tears forming in Isak’s eyes and the heads turning in their direction. Now the music is too quiet.  
“How about you, huh? When were you going to tell me you haven’t been having your meds?” Isak said quietly and calmly, looking Even straight in the eye.  
“It looks like we’re going back to the beginning where there was so many lies.” Isak carried on, storming out of the party with Jonas in tow.  
“Isak? Mind telling me what the fuck is going on?”  
“I haven’t been sleeping, Even hasn’t been taking his meds, even though they’re new! They’re new, Jonas so why won’t he try them?”  
“Isak?” Even calls hesitantly, now he seems to have sobered up.  
“Leave me alone, you don’t get to talk to me right now.”  
“I think i’ll go and find Mahdi and Magnus for a bit?” Jonas speaks to Isak, ignoring Even completely.  
“No, i’m coming with you, i’m going to get so drunk and then i’ll crash at yours.” Isak says now looking at Even with a furious look on his face. The blueish bags under his eyes and the tear-tracked-stained cheeks doesn’t make it all seem worth the fighting to Even. He wants his baby safe in his arms where he will do everything he can to get him to sleep.  
“Isak, please! Come home and we can work this out.”  
“There’s too many secrets, Even! We’re both guilty of it and if we can’t be honest about this then what else is there being hidden?!” Isak stands up, looking at Even. 

“We need a break.”

And that was the moment Even’s entire world shattered into pieces. 

“I’m staying at Jonas’s tonight and then i’ll be round tomorrow for my school things and we can perhaps talk then, okay? we’re not breaking up Ev. We’re going to sort this out but there is too much going on.”

That night, Isak got so drunk he couldn’t remember anything else. Even was crying in his and Isak’s bed, hugging his pillow and wearing his favourite hoodie that still smelt like him. The bed was too big. 

***  
It’s sunday morning and Even hasn’t slept. Neither has Isak. 

Even decided that 5am was a reasonable time to get up and clean the house before Isak came to break up with him. Isak could never do that.  
He washed up, put the dirty washing in to clean (with mostly Isaks clothes so he could take them when he left) and he vacuumed the carpets all over the house. The small house was too big without Isak in it.  
By 10am he was finished, it took 5 hours to do everything because whenever he saw stains, or food packets or random things Eskild gives them, he breaks down. He hasn’t felt this empty in a very long time. 

There’s now a knock at the door, signalling that Isak is now here to collect his things and leave.  
“Hey”  
“Halla”  
The silence, for the first time since he met Isak, was uncomfortable.  
“....So I think we need to talk.”  
“Yes, yes of course! Sorry, come on in.”  
The fact that Isak has to knock of his own front door even though he had keys took something out of Even. He knew then that Isak wasn’t going to stay tonight.  
“Even, i’m sorry for not telling you i can’t sleep, but it wasn’t just that i couldn’t sleep. My dad won’t send me money for rent anymore so i’ve been trying to look for jobs. and i know you have a job but i hate the idea of you having to work so hard we hardly see each other any more.”  
“Isak,”  
“No Even, please listen to me okay? These past few weeks have been shit because you were being so distant from me, I thought you were leaving me. I guess that’s what made my insomnia a little bit worse. But you not telling me about your new medication really made me feel like you can’t trust me.”  
This boy. This poor boy that has been though hell and back, probably twice, had to go through so much, without Even. Both boys were silently crying.  
“Isak, I am so sorry. I thought that you knowing would make your sleeping worse. I didn’t know that you knew I swear!”  
All even wants to do is reach out and hug all the bad things out of his life. But he can’t. Isak has stayed away from Even this morning for a reason.  
“We didn’t tell each other to start with, Even and that’s the problem. I’m going to stay at Eskild’s for 2 weeks. We’re not allowed contact at all, okay? No seeing each other, no texting, no waiting for each other at school. Nothing.

I’m going to take some things and go. I’ll see you in 2 weeks.”  
“Isak! Don’t please! I’ll tell you things i promise i will!”  
“You will sort everything out in these two weeks because we both need space. you can’t disagree on that because i know you and you need to re-evaluate everything and make sure your new medication does work. and if it doesn’t, you have time to get some more. I will sort my sleeping out and will learn to be more open. After these two weeks we can talk through everything with a clear mind and it will just make us stronger.” Isak said now walking into their bedroom to collect their things.  
“I don’t think i can do it without you.” Even cries, running up the stairs and taking Isak’s bag and throwing the clothes inside the bag out. “Ev, baby,” Isak starts calmly “No! You don’t get to call me either of those names when you’re leaving me! What’s gonna happen in these 2 weeks? What if you find someone else? What if we can’t work through everything?” Even, now screaming, stands in front of the doorway not letting Isak leave him. “I will never find anyone else Even. I couldn’t possibly do that to you or myself. We will work through this, but it just needs some more time.”

Isak says with tears running down his face as he pushes past Even, runs down the stairs and leaves.  
Even tried to follow him, but his legs didn’t work.

None of him works without Isak


	2. Week One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m okay.”   
> “No, you’re not.”  
> “No, i’m not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s chapter 2! I’m so sorry my writing is so bad but i’m trying to get better before my exams. This hurt my heart a lot and i’m sorry.

monday;  
it’s been 19 hours and 28 minutes since isak left with his things. Even was still crying on the floor. 

Isak however, was chilling with Jonas trying to not think about what the man of his life was doing right now. Was he okay? Was he going to be at school? Has he been to sleep? Was he eating? He didn’t know the answers to the simple questions he would always know. He doesn’t feel like the Isak he had grown into anymore, he felt like the old Isak, the one who felt like he didn’t deserve anything good. Maybe he didn’t. 

Even knew he couldn’t go to school, not when everyone knew that Isak no longer wanted to be with him. The boy who held Even’s hand and made funny faces when he walked past Even at school and took him into places he never thought possible, didn’t want him anymore. His worst nightmare had came true and that’s when he decided he didn’t want to live. 

Isak went to school because he had to study with Sana. He couldn’t cancel, he had too many times before. He didn’t sleep, again, and he just wanted to hold his favourite person until he believed Isak when he says he loves him more than anyone. Because he does. More than he will ever know. Isak had bags under his eyes, greasy hair and he just wanted to sleep. But, Sana and his biology homework we’re waiting for him. 

“You’re late” The only thing Isak’s hates more than mornings is disappointing people, which is why he slumps down onto the chair with a half mumbled guilty apology. “Hey best bud, you okay?”   
“I’m just fine.   
So what’s this about meiosis?”  
Sana knows when to press and when not to and that’s one of the things that Isak likes about her. They haven’t been friends for long but he is very lucky to have her on his side and even if she won’t admit it, Sana has a soft spot for Isak. But if anyone finds out about that then it’s their funeral. 

Even just wants to talk to Isak. He missed his voice, his smell and everything that just ultimately is, Isak. But he won’t see him anymore. It’s just a matter of time before he finds someone better. 

As soon as Isak gets to Eskild’s, he snaps. He just wants Even to help him sleep but he knows that going back to him now will mean they won’t have a chance to be themselves, although Isak would love to be more like Even, he knows he can’t because he has to be his own person. Isak gets into bed and for 2 hours, he cries. Then with swollen red eyes and a runny nose, sleep reaches him. 

Even is sleeping on the sofa because he can’t go in their bedroom and he hasn’t since he got up off the floor a few hours ago. Even gets on the sofa and he cries. He doesn’t sleep. 

 

Tuesday;  
Isak goes to school for the whole day the next morning for. Although he isn’t supposed to, he looks around all of Even’s classes and around his friends to make sure he’s okay, but he’s never anywhere to be found. So he texts Magnus and asks him to go over to see Even. 

Even can’t get up from the sofa. He’s been there for over 12 hours but he feels like his skin is too big for his body.   
He gets woken up, maybe minutes, maybe hours, later by a knock on the door. He thinks it’s Isak. So he gets up as fast as his tired body can carry him and opens the door. He sees Magnus and suddenly he can’t hold it in anymore. He breaks down into the floor and Magnus is there in an instant telling him everything will be okay. “It won’t! He’s left me and he doesn’t love me anymore! I cant lose him Magnus, I just can’t!” Magnus sits next to even with a small sad smile and sighs.   
“Jesus you two are so dramatic. Even listen, he’s not leaving you, okay? I promise he just wants to change so he can be better for you. And he wants you to be better for yourself. It’s hard, I know but in the end you will thank each other for this space. He can’t leave you Even, he knows your hurting and believe me, he is too but you need to look after yourself.” Now, Magnus gets a lot of shit from the people around him. But really? He is a great friend and deep down, under all the stupid questions and bad luck with girls, he really does know what’s happening and he observes these things. He knows the boys aren’t themselves without each other, but they can’t depend on each other too much otherwise they won’t be able to spend one night apart without the other feeling lifeless. “Why are you here?” Even, now calming into quiet hiccups asks.   
“I need to be here for my best bro. I brought brownies!” Despite everything, Even smiles. A small smile, but Magnus counts it as a win. 

Magnus tells Isak that Even was doing okay, although he wasn’t. Isak getting worried about Even would place them right back at the start. Isak smiles when Magnus tells him that Even smiles and once again, Magnus counts this as a win. 

Wednesday;  
Isak has had enough. He can’t read the notes he is somehow writing about something to do with homeostasis and he hasn’t slept properly in a month. Noora keeps giving him side eyes from the kitchen table and Isak just wants to be alone. “Do you have to be everywhere?!” He shouts, then instantly feels guilt. He takes one look at Noora’s sad smile and he hugs her, and breaks for the first time since he walked out of their home. His and Even’s. Not because he needs a hug, but because he wants to feel someone close to him again. And Noora understands this especially well after William, so she hugs him back with so much force, and they cry together, Isak not mentioning the mascara running down her cheeks and Noora not mentioning how Isak’s nose is running all over. She just wipes it with her Norwegian notes with a wink and that makes Isak chuckle. “You’re both going to be just fine Isak.”

Even has been back on the sofa ever since Magnus left, leaving the whole tub of brownies on the table. Even knows what’s happening now, all he is doing is sleeping and even then he is still tired. He sleeps again after texting a thanks again to Magnus who replies saying that they’re both going to be just fine. He doesn’t believe it at the moment, but he trusts Isak and if this is what it takes to be better for him, then he will do anything. 

Thursday;  
Even still is not at school, and Isak knows what’s happening. He’s been there before and it makes his heart break knowing he can’t go and kiss his head and protect him while he sleeps. For the first time in a long time he skips school and goes to Eskild’s and then? Then, he cries. 

Evens brain is beautiful. It holds so many words, ideas and images. But that’s all gone. Everything used to be in colour, not it’s black and grey. Isak is his colour and without colour, there’s nothing. 

“Hello my love, how are you doing?” Eskild has been hovering around Isak’s locked door for so long that Isak just opened it for him, not even bothering anymore. You can’t not talk to Eskild when he’s worried. 

“I’m okay.”   
“No, you’re not.”  
“No, i’m not.” 

Eskild, Noora and even Linn sleep with Isak that night. It’s not comfortable by any means, but Isak appreciates the fact that they care so much about him. He should make them breakfast one morning when he feels better. And if he moves closer to Linn to tell her everything is going to be okay, pretending it’s Even, nobody needs to know. And for the first time in a month, Isak sleeps through the whole night. 

Friday;  
Even wakes up in a better mood today. He still can’t go to school but that’s okay. He’s eaten something and he has washed the covers that’s been on the sofa and he feels okay. He’s starting to believe that everything will be better. 

Isak wakes up alone. But that hasn’t changed because Even is always up cooking him breakfast, already with his lunch made for him. He smiles thinking about the memory. He hopes Even is okay, he’ll make sure to ask Magnus. 

Even has showered and he feels a lot cleaner, not just physically. He’s starting to see in colours again, but faint splashes of pastel pinks, blues and yellows. Things will be better soon 

Saturday;  
Today, Even went to see his doctor about his medication and it went well. They are being changed, and that will take some time, but he’s doing it for Isak and he wants him to be proud. 

Isak already is. 

Isak has had a good day. Mahdi made him laugh so much his insides hurt and he got a 5 on his biology test. His teacher sent out the results. “Slacking I see Mr. Valtersen.” Sana says smugly on skype, as soon as Isak picks up, waving her neat test with a big red 6 sitting across the top. Isak laughs and rolls his eyes fondly at her, “I’ll beat you next time, Sana Banana.” Now it’s Sana’s turn to roll her eyes, with a hint of a smile forming at the corners. He hopes Even would be proud of him. 

Even already is. 

“How are you?”  
“I’m not too bad.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Yeah. It’s getting better to open up to people, us here, now, for example.”   
“I’m glad, Isak.”  
“Yeah. Me too.”

Sunday;  
Even is seeing his parents today for a catch up. They don’t get to do this often because his parents work away a lot but all family members are home today so he couldn’t refuse. He tells them about Isak and their break. “I think that was a sensible thing to do Ev.”   
“I hope it makes us stronger.”  
“You know, I think it already has.”  
“How?”  
“From what I know, you weren’t good at the start. That’s fair to say,” Even nods, looking towards the floor. “But you went to the doctors and sorted your meds out, you have cleaned your house, which by the way i wish you did here, but that all just proved how much of a positive influence Isak is on you. Yes?”  
“Wow. Yes.”

Isak has done all of his homework so he goes into Linn’s room to say hi. “Hello” Linn says quietly from in her bed. She shuffles to one side of the bed and lifts up the covers so Isak can get in. They lay there in silence for a while until Isak asks. “How are you feeling lately?” Everyone always gets a negative view of Linn because she doesn’t talk much and she’s mostly in her room. But given the chance she is one of the kindest people Isak has ever met.   
“I’m okay, Isak. I always am. It’s just nobody ever asks. They just assume.” Something about that makes something in Isak run cold. Nobody asks Linn how she is because they assume she’s depressed. That’s what he does to Even sometimes. He doesn’t ask how he was because he’s too stressed about his own things. Linn doesn’t have a lot of people, Isak knows this. But from now on, Isak will make sure to ask people how they are more often. “I’m sorry Linn. I wish you could see what I see in you sometimes.”  
“What do you see?”  
“I see a woman who gets a lot of shit. And it upsets you. But you are strong and brave and so so beautiful. Inside. And. Out.” He punctuates each sentence by a poke in the sides of Linn’s ribs until they’re both wresting on her bed. Afterwards they both lay there catching their breaths. “Thank you for being the best brother i’ve every had. Don’t tell Eskild that though or he’ll throw you out right now.” Linn and Isak laugh at the Trueness of that statement. Later, Linn falls asleep holding Isak’s hand. Isak kisses the top of Linns head and makes a promise to himself that he will go out on a walk with Linn tomorrow so she can get some fresh air. And he also promises to make sure others are okay, and help them if they’re not. Just like they do o him without him realising. 

Tonight, both boys fall asleep feeling loved from so many different types of people. 

But other than that, they fall asleep knowing they have one more week until they can see each other again. With this thought, both boys fall asleep with butterflies in their stomachs and smiles on their faces. 

It’s not completely okay yet. And they know this. 

But if anyone can get through this, it’s them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come and yell at me on twitter @multiisak ! Thanks for reading <3

**Author's Note:**

> Follow twitter @multiisak !  
> Thanks for reading!  
> Kudos and Comments will be hugely appreciated  
> 


End file.
